I have been a single deaf mother for many years before finally getting hitched. I've had 3 children. My oldest was born in 1990 and passed away from cancer in 1995. I later had my 2nd daughter at the end of 1995. 5 years later my son would be born.
All this while, I've lived with my children's father for about around 12-13 years. Finally breaking up and moving away when my son was barely a year old.
My relationship with their father was a very typical relationship of not being married but enjoyed/hated being together. We had this love/hate relationship that leaves so many people puzzled how we managed to get out of this alive. With so many problems trying to stay together, I finally picked up my kids and we left. We just had this awful relationship of trying to be a couple, but at the same time, we loved each other. We just didn't know how to make it work.
Then after breaking up, we've become good friends. Which is a lot better than the relationship we had as a couple. I've become wiser and a better person because of that.
I have always been the main breadwinner, and was on my own with the kids for a few years. It was tough going. My daughter used to tell her friends that her parents are divorced. I had to laugh. Recently I had to explain to her that her daddy and I never married, but we were together for so long, people treated us as a married couple. My daughter never thought about that, and whenever people asks her about her parents, she says oh they broke up. So no need further explaining.
Right after the breakup, I went to Florida for SBCD (Southern Baptist Conference of the Deaf) just to rededicate myself to God, and to renew my relationship with Him. I did not live the right life style, and I had just broken up with the kids' dad. While in Florida, there was a man (he himself is from Miami) there God put in my path. I first didn't care for him or his attentions. I just didn't go there looking for a new relationship. I was trying to repair my relationship with God. I think that year was the time me and another fellow traveler were trying to figure out where we stand with God. But this young fella was stubborn and hung out around me whenever he could.
Who would've thought I'd discover Instant Messenging in the year 2001? And that this fella would start contacting me, and we would begin a 3 year online dating before he finally pulled up his roots and moved out to Michigan? And marry me?
Think of God with a Barbie (me) and a Ken (my husband) putting them together and making it work? Ok, I use that as a symbol when I tell people how it turned out this way. it's funny to visualize God with Barbie dolls and Ken dolls. Doesn't He do that with people??? Or matchbox cars moving us (in real cars) around and keeping us safe? Ah yes.
Being a single mom was really rough. I could go into more about my life as a single deaf mom. The struggles and the truimphs. How my family viewed me or the people. I'll probably start a series of single deaf mom-hood after this.
For now, my son is tired and wants me to lay down with him (helps him go to sleep faster). I need to make sure my daughter's gone to bed. My husband will be home later from a men's bible study.
Good night.
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