Saturday, June 19, 2010


For the next few days, I am sharing other people's experiences with cancer and sharing their stories with you. This is to remember how devastating cancer can be.  

Yesterday, I interviewed Dave. He is my children's uncle....their dad's brother. He is the fun big bear kind of uncle that all kids are drawn to him. And he has a great rapport with anyone!

Anyway, just a little background story here---Uncle Dave was with me and my family the night Rachel (my firstborn daughter) died.  Our memory was little bit fuzzy but, he remembers being with me when Rachel died or after she had passed.

Dave is a very caring person, and doesn't always show emotion. But he does care.

ANYWAY....I had an opportunity to sit down with him and ask him about his dad, Fred Smith Sr.  Or, "Popo" as my kids called him. He was a fun, outgoing, mischievous grandpa. And Josh was very close to him, it's just amazing with the bond they had.

So, I asked Dave to share his thoughts and feelings about his dad and the sarcoma that took him away.

Dave shares: You know, after I started noticing how sick my dad was becoming, it was a real shock. When he was diagnosed, it was still a shock. So I jumped into helping care for my dad. Trips to the doctors, to the hospitals, doing things at home, stuff like that. When they said it was sarcoma, I knew it's serious. So I had to start preparing myself what will happen. 

I asked him, "after we lost Rachel, has her death helped you prepare yourself with other people?" 
Yes, after losing Rachel, I have been around other people who have gotten sick one way or another. So of course, after Rachel's passing, and helping care for my dad, being with him, helped me be better prepared dealing with death. I've learned to accept that death is part of life. I have had to make peace, knowing it is part of life. And knowing that they are in better hands. 

It was a bit emotional, but it was good to reminsince a bit about him.

Popo, this post is dedicated to you.

Fred Smith, Sr.
Born September 3, 1934
Went to be home with the Lord on March 14, 2004

Friday, June 18, 2010

Kicking some cancer butt...

I have blogger's block. So....

What do I do about that?

Do some thinkin' and thinkin' and thinkin' and an idea develops! Yes!

Since most of you know I'm participating in the Relay for Life next week (hey, visit my Relay For Life page! )...I decided I was going to have some people share their personal experiences with cancer (either personally or through a loved one)...and be my guest blogger.

So, okay, now ...I must return back to work. But wanted to let you all know I'm still alive. Just little blank-minded the past few days.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

3 a.m.

Can't sleep.

Must've been all the sleeping I did nearly all weekend. My back pain prevented me from doing much and taking meds to allievate the back pain knocked me out. Oh yeah, along with allergies and sinus headaches to go with it. Yeah.

I am unable to sleep.


I've tried everything and nothing seem to work. I can feel myself being tired, but I guess my mind's just too busy and it won't shush.

Eh...I think I'll take a warm shower and see if it helps.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

a quiet rainy evening...

Man, I'm beat.

I arrived at work early this morning to sounds of jack hammers and the sidewalk cement saw machine (you know that huge machine that cuts into sidewalk, street, etc) and my department has the misfortune of being located directly underneath that commotion.  It was extremely hard for me to lip-read with the jackhammer noise so loud it rattled my brains. I couldn't concentrate very well.  That is where everyone wished they knew sign language.

So now I have the place to myself right now. It's nice....

Oh yeah, on my way to work after dropping my sister off at work, I was minding my own business and one stretch of road was kind of quiet. I saw 2 ducks crossing the road. So, I slowed down and stopped. I know they appreciated it.

However, there was a car barreling down behind me, and even though I had my lights and my brake lights on, the driver blared her horn, swerved, nearly missed running the ducks down, and flipping me off. How rude. Oh well. So I waited for the ducks to finish crossing the lanes....and I felt good as it happily arrived at its destination.

Well, as you all know in my previous posting, I'm participating in the Relay for Life....and I got my first donor! WOO!  BUT....I still need more donors to support this cause.  So if you feel you want to join me in kicking some cancer butt, then click on my page and send your support!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Relay for Life...

Hi Y'all,
I'll be participating in the Relay for Life in Davison, MI.  I was encouraged by Brenda to particpate, and I thought, what a wonderful way to get my exercise, hang out with my friends, go to her son's open house, and walk some more (hopefully losing more calories & pounds)....and being in the Relay of Life was something I've wanted to do for a long time but never got around to it.

Thanks Brenda. *big smile*

All in all, I'm doing this in the memory of my firstborn daughter, Rachel, my mother, Joan and my grandmother Betty.

Support Kirstan in Relay of Life!!!