Domestic Violence

It's been a very interesting but sobering weekend for me. I have a lot to be thankful for. I had been thinking alot about those who have been in domestic violence situations...and for those I know who have survived, I applaud. For those I don't know, and do survive, I admire them. For those who didn't survive, my heart goes out to them.

On Thanksgiving, I heard from a friend of mine I've not heard from in a long time. I had helped her out many times when she was struggling with a boyfriend who was very short-tempered. I remembered one night driving home, I had this awful vision appear in my mind I was speaking at this friend's funeral, giving the eulogy. And speaking out against domestic violence. Well, I got home, and I got online quickly. She was online and told me that she had been badly beaten and that the guy is in jail. I was very thankful. She said it was time for her to leave the state. So with one of my best guy friend, borrowed a pastor's truck, we headed up north to her house and helped her with packing, and took some of her furniture away. She moved out of state, and just when I thought she was starting again, the guy followed her down there, and they got back together. That is when my guy friend and I decided no more. We've helped her out many times before. I've drawn the line.

Well, on Thanksgiving, I heard from her on Sorenson VP and found out she had already broken up with him for good. And she's dating a wonderful man. I was so happy but didn't have a chance to talk much with her.

Tonight I watched Extreme Makeover, Home Edition. it was very heartwrenching. It did focus on this blended family. A family with 4 children were a wonderful loving family. Father was killed in an accident, the oldest daughter survived the accident but had to witness her father's death. Then couple years later, the mother had to take a restraining order against this abusive exboyfriend. One night, the 12 year old daughter had a bad feeling and she was 12 at that time. Around 2 in the morning the abusive ex broke into the house and went upstairs and shot the mom and boyfriend dead. The 12 year old witnessed the shooting. She and her sister went over the neighbor's house to call 911. The 911 was really heartbreaking.

Well, the sister of the mother already had her own children and they became a family of 9 (soon to be a family of 10, with baby on way). The daughter, now 13, and her aunt who took her and her siblings into her home, are advocates of Domestic Violence. They have passed many bills in their state of Minnesota.

I have looked back at myself, my family, my own life. I have witnessed domestic violence in my own house...not really violence, but more of my parents arguing and throwing stuff around and swearing at each other. And my dad storming out and find relief with a bottle of booze or in the arms of my mom's best friend across the street.

Then living with my kids' father who was very controlling with mind games, and never physically hurting me, but mentally and emotionally, yes.

And to witness my friend (the one I mentioned earlier) being pushed around in my own home after a night of partying. I had been babysitting her kids. I noticed some thumping around downstairs and went downstairs to see him pushing her around. I turned on the lights, looked straight at him and said, I'm taking you home. And I did.

Another incident, I lived in a trailer park. I lived next door to a couple who had drinking problems, and they had 2 children. I used to babysit the kids. I had asked the mother if there's ever a time the kids need to be safe and you need someone to call the police, give your daughter a videotape (movies, whatever) and send them over to me. That will be a signal to call the police. I only had to do this once. I was getting tired of the kids coming over all the time scared saying their parents are fighting again. It was too stressful for me to live there, and it was hard on my kids. Another situation intervened and it helped me pick up the kids and move away.

Ladies, if you are being controlled by the man in your life, please, for the sake of your life, get away. Get help. Call the police. Do not be afraid. No man should ever treat their wife or girlfriend in that manner. It can really affect you, your family, your children if any, but most of all, your community. You'd be really amazed what people feel about domestic violence. It's a very serious crime. If I could help every woman in this situation step away and get help, I would. If you know who I am, know this: my home is a safe place if you ever need to find one. And know this too, I am not afraid to call the cops. My friend's abusive ex-boyfriend hated me with all of his guts because I was the only one who never felt threatened by him and was not afraid to call the cops on him.