Friday, March 26, 2010

Life as a mom...

It's a never-ending job. It has its ups and downs. It can be scary and joyful at times.

Man...and kids don't come with instructions.

I do appreciate being a mom. I remember one guy I dated in college telling me that someday I'd make a great mom.  And that had stuck with me through the years ahead...

The past couple days my daughter, being 14, has been talking more and more with me. I find it so wonderful and so touching she'd take the time out to just hang out with her mom.  Talk about general things, life as we know it, school, boys, friends, and she doesn't believe in Evolution.

Then excitedly tells me about the song she loves by Third Day, Cry Out to Jesus. I've heard it and it's really a good song. She is going to their Winter Jam tonight...7 bands are playing. She's joining her youth group so I'm very pleased to hear she is looking forward to that.

I worked half a day today....and now I'm just waiting for the time to pick her up and her friend from school, bring 'em home to drop school bags off, and then hurry them over to their church so they can leave for the concert.  I'm little envious...I'd love to go with them.

Well, I guess that would leave me home alone husband goes to a meeting, my son might go to a friend's house, and Ashley won't be home til late tonight.

Ah...catch up on chores?  Nah.  I'll just take it easy and make a date with myself to do whatever I want. Yeah.

And the sun's out. 

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Twenty years or so ago...

When I was like 21 years old, I had met my kids' father's friends...and one being a real gentleman. Of course we all were partying know, the type that would drink alcohol, and smoke cigs or pot.

Anyway, I do remember many of the friends and some have been mine as well, but we had fallen out of touch because maybe we moved away or they moved away and I no longer went to deaf social events in the Detroit area.  It didn't appeal too much to me, when I became a mom. I remember one deaf man who complimented the change in me, "You have 'mother eyes' now..." meaning the person I became was no longer who they knew. I changed to become a mother, and to be the best mother I could be. And start straightening my life out.

Fast forward to 20 years later (around 20 years later), a deaf couple visited our church today. The wife has cancer and was not doing well. She was feeling well enough to come to church. Even though she has to tote around her pain-killer machine and click for a dose nearly every half control the pain. Her husband was very caring and watching over her frequently.

In Sunday School, the lesson was so interesting for the husband, that a few times I'd let him know his wife's cup was ready to slip out of her hands (she had been nodding off frequently due to the meds) or about to fall out the side of her chair. 

There was a fundraiser spaghetti dinner so we all hung for that after SS. While conversing with the wife, she asked me if I knew this person or that (a very long list, and maybe 3 out of 20, I do know)...finally I asked if they knew the kids' father and his family.  The husband said yes! And told me he remembers visiting me at an apartment I lived in (the house in apartment upstairs, living over a guy who had rottweilers)...I looked at him and he said, think of me really skinny! I finally remembered him!!! Talk about small world.

We proceeded to talk a while, then I asked the husband how HE is doing, taking care of his wife, and how can we help him, how can I help him?  He wanted to focus on his wife, and I told him I understood that very clearly. I understand her fears and not wanting to die, which is perfectly normal. How can we help them?  So that is something to think about.

Later he and wife let me share little bit, sharing that I have experience with caring for people with cancer, so I know exactly what they're going through. So if they ever need to talk, or want me cook a meal or whatever, just let me know. I know where they live, and I'd be more than happy to come by or whatever.

I do pray for them, because I know it is hard for the husband to handle all that. Very stressful. Believe me, I know what he's feeling.  I was so happy for the wife and she was so thrilled to have met me, finally knowing who I really am...and getting reacquainted.  The best part was getting hugged, and being thanked for finally getting to meet me in person. surely was a good day.  The wife first had lung cancer, got treated for that, and it cleared. Then she developed a brain tumor, and treated with radiation, that was treated. Now, she has a tumor on her spine. If they operate, too risky, a high risk of becoming paralyzed. What did she want to do? She chose no surgery. She will continue to fight it off.

Now she leaves it in God's hands, however, the human part of her would like to live longer to see her children marry and possibly have children. But, it is up to God.  I'd love for her to be able to see her children marry. She is only 3 years older than me.  I do admire her determination. And her strong spirit.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thursday the 18th

Well, I just got home from taking my son in for his eye appt. Turns out he does need glasses. After all, he has his daddy's eyes.

His daddy is blind as a bat without glasses. Josh has been diagnosed with being near-sighted (I learned just now, it means you can't see far), and would need glasses in that's a relief.

At the same time, I ordered prescription sunglasses. I realized how much the sun hurts my eyes, but can't wear regular sun-glasses nor can I get clip-ons for these new glasses that I have now.


Lately I've been feeling little...oh...sad, maybe? I don't know. I've been going through so many crazy emotions the past few days, to the point I just need to be left alone. Like, not wanting to deal with people or talk to people...other than my own immediate family members.  I guess the past couple weeks just kind of threw me off, and my hormones off whack?  Do I blame it on the time change? What?

So this week, I decided I was going to be in a great mood, no matter what the weather or how other people are behaving. I was going to make them laugh, if I have to tell bad jokes. If I have to go out of my way to amuse people and can still feel good about it, so be it.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. The library decided to have a potluck. We brought dishes in to share, anything green as possible (nothing moldy, please!) and dress up in green. Whoever has the most green gets to go first in line.

Well, I kind of figured someone else would be more greener than me.  Well, I had green scrub pants on, I had bought a St. Patrick's Day tshirt that was on sale at Walmarts. I had green nail polish, green striped socks, green dangling earrings I got from Josh, green eye make up, and....oh wait for hair spray!

So, having fun, I made my orzo salad (orzo, feta cheese, spinach, pine nuts and bit of garlic), dying the orzo with green food dye. I was little worried the green dye would hurt the feta cheese but no, I rinsed it well, and thankful the orzo stayed green.

Then I doled out in my finest greenery get-up and arrived at work.  I thought there'd be a face-off or something with someone else, but I won, hands-down. If not for the green hair spray, I might be tied with another person. I was little extreme, I guess.

Oh I love our office parties!

Well, the weather's been lovely lately, and I just want Spring to be here FULL BLOOM, and for summer to roll in. I want to start sitting outside, and just enjoying the outdoors. And I want to get rid of the moody blues...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Is it true?

Is it true? Really?  I mean...the snow's gone. The sun came out. And it warmed up to the low 60's. Really?


I'm so thrilled. The past few days I fought a war with migraines and other types of headaches, and slept a lot ...usually when I step in the door after gettin' home from work...I'm gone to bed!

Last night, after the sinus meds, and regular meds failed, I gave in and took my prescribed migraine pill, and this morning, I woke up feeling really good.

I'll take one pill with me to work "just in case" it creeps back in the afternoon.

Nope. It stayed away. Thank you! 

Now, in place of headaches, I have to deal with a lot of achy joints. My legs, arms, wrists, shoulders and even my fingers are achy. Ehhh...I just took some Tylenol for that. Waiting for it to kick in.

Since the day is so gorgeous, I came home and asked my husband, "Why aren't you outside?"  He was supposed to clean up a corner of the deck outside in the back for the landlord. He plans to install a bike rack (NICE!) so my kids and my neighbor's kids can park their bike there. Clean it up a bit. We're getting a new tenant downstairs (below Ashley's room)....I'll have to meet her, and kind of get a feel of what her schedule's like.  I know she is a waitress and work nights. So if she sleeps late, I'd like to get an idea how late she sleeps, and set up a new ....courtesy rule...for my kids. No running down the stairs, no screaming, or stomping around or whatever.

So, I'm glad my landlord found a new tenant. I hope the tenant is nice...and we can become friendly. I know I am with my townhouse neighbor.

Well, both kids are out...and enjoying the weather....please do enjoy it while you can! 

Spring is coming. Summer soon to follow. I look forward to days of swimming, camping and doing outdoor stuff.  Is this the year I will be more physical and active? 

We'll see.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What a whacky week and a weird Wednesday to boot!

My, my.

I don't know what it is about this week. And we had a full moon LAST week. 

Wait, I guess it's safe to say, "What a whacky couple of weeks...." *shakes head*

I kind of lost track of the when's when something...(weird....when...what a weird english word to say...when...) weird or scary or irky happens.

I nearly got blindsided by a driver who never looked over her shoulder or checked to see if it was clear 'n safe for her to change lanes.  I had to swerve into another lane to avoid being hit, and thanking God that the driver in the next lane was far back enough and slowed down enough to let me quickly get into her lane. Now, if I could just convey my thoughts and feelings to the crazy driver through Betty's horn...

Wait, that happened on Monday. Ah.

Yesterday I misunderstood the Great Bobini as he came through my office with a huge rolling bin...(cart, whatever)....thinking he was there to pick up recycled books or schedule books or whatever. It was still morning. When he said, "No, I'm here to DELIVER..." I thought, DUH!  But again, I have to be little bit more patient with his signing. He isn't full ASL but again, I wasn't fully awake. When I realized my misunderstanding, I told everyone to hold on a second, and drank some more coca-cola....for the caffeine boost.

Last night I took a nice long hot shower.  This morning after I've arrived at work, I was wondering why my hair felt so .... icky.  Then I realized ... I didn't shampoo but I conditioned. Ahhh. No wonder my hair was all...icky. Brought back memories of being a 15 year old girl with bad case of acne and oily hair (oh yeah, those awkward days).

Oh yeah....I tried to use an ATM today at the student center. The ATM just shut off its lights, and "Temporarily out of service" blinked across the screen. Luckily my card was only 3/4th of the way in the slot thing. I was able to pull it out safely....and just stared at that thing. I've used it many times, without any problems. But why did it shut down on me. So I went ahead to use my card for my lunch purchase. As I sat down in the center, observing the people around me and not really reading my book, enjoying my salad...I saw people using the person has the same bank card as mine...and he had NO PROBLEM getting his money out.


After I ate, I tried again. It shut down on me again.

"Temporarily out of service..."

Oh man.  So....yeah, can you see where I'm going with this? Yeah? Good.

Got back to my desk, and shared this with a couple people. I'm very glad I could make them laugh.  Later, I went to the library's ATM (same bank company) and my card WORKED!

And my co-workers thought that was so hilarious. Yeah yeah....laugh all you want.

So, now, I've had a lovely long hot bath, and I SHAMPOO'ed  my hair....I made sure it wasn't the conditioner.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Finally Friday

I really want to break out into my sandals...wriggle my bare toes...and just let my feet....breathe.

Spring is coming. I can feel it. It has that feeling ...I checked to see that it'll be a bit warmer this weekend, more sunshine (I just love it!)....

I am enjoying driving into the sun's rising in the mornings lately...except for a few moments of being completely blinded until I can safely turn into the street towards work.

Ah.  Spring.  Oh how much we missed thee.

This also brings an opportunity to do some spring cleaning.  I realized dust has gathered together on the ceiling fan that has not been used since late September last year.  So I will be adventurous and climb up on the kitchen counter, and holding my breath, clean off those fan blades. 

Shake out those rugs, and sweep the floors...spit and polish what needs spittin' and polishin'....if it's really nice tomorrow, open a window or two...just for little bit of fresh air.

Or...I could just grab a book, and just relax 'n read.