Sunday, September 27, 2009

Stiff on Sunday...

What a sleepy morning. It's overcast and right now, raining.

Yesterday my family and I headed out to a mall in Southfield for Deaf Celebration Day. While my husband and son helped out with the Deaf Cafe's table, my daughter took off with her bffinthewww running around the mall, I wandered along bumping into many friends I have not seen since 2 years ago's Deaf Awareness Day at another mall. Also some I have not seen in years! So, it was awesome to bump into so many of them, and catch up on news.

At one point, I needed to sit down for a bit, and was thrilled to see a longtime family friend of my kids' grandparents and sat down with her. At the same time, I got to chat with her friends as well.

One thing she was trying to figure out why one particular deaf man would want to go to a party in his honor knowing he will die in a few days. The party is really, Celebration of Life. Will have a potluck party after church services this evening. So listening to her complain about it, and when she gave me an opportunity to share my input, I just merely said: "Look at it this way...if you knew you were dying, I'm sure you would want to live your life to the fullest and grab any moment you can with your friends and family. I know my daughter did that until the day she died. She lived her fullest until 3 days before she passed away. And I have no regrets allowing her to party like there's no tomorrow...."

That stopped her ranting and it opened up many doors for us to discuss people and dying, and what we believe in. Finally she did agree with me that our bodies are just a shell of our souls. When I mentioned that my daughter had a closed casket service, she was startled..."WHY?"

Well, some family members cannot handle it, and well, I have no need to see her in the open casket again...I was with her when she died, and what is in the coffin is nothing. It's not even her. Just her shell...then went on to share that Rachel had touched a lot of people. Also I did it because I know of a couple people who would really break down if it was an open casket. And that it was a decision the family as whole agreed on. And it was the right decision I've made.

"What color was her coffin?"

My mind went blank. I could not remember. 14 years ago and I cannot remember. I looked over at the family friend, and she was surprised too...she said she thinks it was white. I looked at another friend, who I knew since 1988, and she remembered it being white. Finally I looked back and I said, "I think it was white. But I know ONE person who can answer that, and I'll have to ask her tomorrow".

So later today at church I will have to ask this person, what color was it? It isn't really important to know exactly what it was, but it's interesting that I can remember someone else's funeral and the flowers and coffin and perhaps the service itself. But for Rachel's own funeral, I barely remember anything.

Anyhoo, so I finally asked her, "so, when you die, where you gonna go?" she pointed upwards, Heaven....and yes she is a believer of Christ.

So, I was happy with that. Got up and made more rounds at the tables. Running into people. Actually, you guys, don't YOU love it when a person comes up to YOU and say HEY! HI! or just grab you into a hug, "Long time no see???"

I love those moments. Oh yeah, and trying to remember my name is fun too. I love to watch them think so hard trying to remember my name but end up calling me (ex's name) ex-girlfriend. My husband was a good sport about that.

Later, a young dad (and fellow DC team member) and I were standing off to the side outside the Deaf Cafe table, we were both watching my daughter and her bff snap self pictures of themselves. It was so interesting to watch two 13 year old girls pose and make faces, snapping away. I looked at the young father and said, in 10 years your daughter will be doing that too. Be ready.

He just chuckled.

Coming home was a hassle as the construction was going on, and the signs for freeways were very confusing...and I need a GPS!!! But we did get home safely.

And I find myself very stiff this morning. I didn't realize spending a whole afternoon walking the mall can be hard on your body.

I'll live.

So when I get home later after church, I am looking forward to a long nap.


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