Empty Arms...

Last week a 2 year old boy died. I am not sure how it happened but I noticed that many of my friends on Facebook were deeply affected by the loss. And it just was so sad to hear about any loss of any child.

After spending a glorious afternoon yesterday with 5 nieces and 4 nephews, 2 of them being the newest nephews, Nathan (3 mos) and Jacob (5 weeks), I was informed of a 18 mo. old girl's passing from complications of her leukemia.

One thing we know is that she got to wake up in Jesus' arms. 

BUT....the mother's arms are empty.  The dad's arms are empty. Without that child to hold and hug and comfort.

Empty.

I know exactly how that feels. I may have all my nieces and nephews to hold and hug and comfort. I may have all my friends' children who comes to be held or hugged or comforted. I may have my children's friends come up to me be to be held, hugged or comforted.

But I am missing my Rachel.

It is really hard to describe the feeling....and my heart grieves for those who have lost their little ones.

After losing Rachel, I did not want to be hugged or touched. I did not want to be around children. Then one night a friend asked me if I could watch her girls. They were very close to Rachel. At first, I wasn't too sure about that, but she promised me they'd go to bed soon, and I wouldn't have to do much with them. Just need a grown-up in the house.  So, when I got there, the little girl, Alisha, being 2 or 3 years old at that time, made me get down to her eye level and told me straight, "Rachel want you know it's okay" and she hugged me. I froze at first, but then I found my arms wrapping around her and hugging her back. (Thanks, Alisha, I love you.)

My arms are empty of Rachel, but not empty of my children and all the people I love and hold dear. And I can't wait to fill my arms with Rachel, my mother, and all those I love and hold dear again in Heaven.

Giving up Snow for Lent...

Late this morning, I stepped into my former department, hoping to snag a mug of coffee. None has been brewed. Nobody made a pot. Of. Coffee.

One gave up Coffee for Lent.

Huh. Okay. So I brewed half a pot....and enjoyed that. For some reason, it felt really good to drink something hot and soothing my throat that somehow needed some soothing. No, I'm not sick nor do I have a sore throat. But just the same, coffee...good. Yum.

I had noticed the past few days, people were giving things up for Lent. One gave up Facebook for Lent. That, I'll be watching out for her and see if she is serious about it. So far, so good.

Some gave up sweets or food-related things.  Some gave up tv programs or little pleasures.

I decided on....giving up Snow for Lent.

I've just had it with the weary, I mean, very weary Winter.  I love snow and everything but to be constantly slammed with ice and snow all the time is just wearing me down.  C'mon Spring, come on! You can do it! Come on out.  Bring the sun with you.

Other exciting news...we have a Pastor nominee visiting us this weekend, and my church will have an open house this weekend. I'm looking forward to meeting him and see if this is the Pastor God wants him to be for our church.

AND....my middle sister, Hollie, is gonna have her 2nd baby either tonight or on Monday. By express delivery (c-section).  I am looking forward to meeting my newest nephew soon.  I wonder how big brother Andrew will handle it.  He will be in for the shock of his life!

Other than that, really nothing earth-shattering events are happening in my life at the moment.  Enjoying my new job, and having the time of my life. Kids are happy and healthy, if they're not killing each other first.  Life is good, so far. And God is good. All the time.

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,

Please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots, may nots, might nots that may find a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots, would nots, and should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all, Dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart, and my life all of the "am nots" that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough.

Amen


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