It's a never-ending job. It has its ups and downs. It can be scary and joyful at times.
Man...and kids don't come with instructions.
I do appreciate being a mom. I remember one guy I dated in college telling me that someday I'd make a great mom. And that had stuck with me through the years ahead...
The past couple days my daughter, being 14, has been talking more and more with me. I find it so wonderful and so touching she'd take the time out to just hang out with her mom. Talk about general things, life as we know it, school, boys, friends, and she doesn't believe in Evolution.
Then excitedly tells me about the song she loves by Third Day, Cry Out to Jesus. I've heard it and it's really a good song. She is going to their Winter Jam tonight...7 bands are playing. She's joining her youth group so I'm very pleased to hear she is looking forward to that.
I worked half a day today....and now I'm just waiting for the time to pick her up and her friend from school, bring 'em home to drop school bags off, and then hurry them over to their church so they can leave for the concert. I'm little envious...I'd love to go with them.
Well, I guess that would leave me home alone tonight...my husband goes to a meeting, my son might go to a friend's house, and Ashley won't be home til late tonight.
Ah...catch up on chores? Nah. I'll just take it easy and make a date with myself to do whatever I want. Yeah.
And the sun's out.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Twenty years or so ago...
When I was like 21 years old, I had met my kids' father's friends...and one being a real gentleman. Of course we all were partying people...you know, the type that would drink alcohol, and smoke cigs or pot.
Anyway, I do remember many of the friends and some have been mine as well, but we had fallen out of touch because maybe we moved away or they moved away and I no longer went to deaf social events in the Detroit area. It didn't appeal too much to me, when I became a mom. I remember one deaf man who complimented the change in me, "You have 'mother eyes' now..." meaning the person I became was no longer who they knew. I changed to become a mother, and to be the best mother I could be. And start straightening my life out.
Fast forward to 20 years later (around 20 years later), a deaf couple visited our church today. The wife has cancer and was not doing well. She was feeling well enough to come to church. Even though she has to tote around her pain-killer machine and click for a dose nearly every half hour...to control the pain. Her husband was very caring and watching over her frequently.
In Sunday School, the lesson was so interesting for the husband, that a few times I'd let him know his wife's cup was ready to slip out of her hands (she had been nodding off frequently due to the meds) or about to fall out the side of her chair.
There was a fundraiser spaghetti dinner so we all hung for that after SS. While conversing with the wife, she asked me if I knew this person or that (a very long list, and maybe 3 out of 20, I do know)...finally I asked if they knew the kids' father and his family. The husband said yes! And told me he remembers visiting me at an apartment I lived in (the house in apartment upstairs, living over a guy who had rottweilers)...I looked at him and he said, think of me really skinny! I finally remembered him!!! Talk about small world.
We proceeded to talk a while, then I asked the husband how HE is doing, taking care of his wife, and how can we help him, how can I help him? He wanted to focus on his wife, and I told him I understood that very clearly. I understand her fears and not wanting to die, which is perfectly normal. How can we help them? So that is something to think about.
Later he and wife let me share little bit, sharing that I have experience with caring for people with cancer, so I know exactly what they're going through. So if they ever need to talk, or want me cook a meal or whatever, just let me know. I know where they live, and I'd be more than happy to come by or whatever.
I do pray for them, because I know it is hard for the husband to handle all that. Very stressful. Believe me, I know what he's feeling. I was so happy for the wife and she was so thrilled to have met me, finally knowing who I really am...and getting reacquainted. The best part was getting hugged, and being thanked for finally getting to meet me in person.
Ahh...today surely was a good day. The wife first had lung cancer, got treated for that, and it cleared. Then she developed a brain tumor, and treated with radiation, that was treated. Now, she has a tumor on her spine. If they operate, too risky, a high risk of becoming paralyzed. What did she want to do? She chose no surgery. She will continue to fight it off.
Now she leaves it in God's hands, however, the human part of her would like to live longer to see her children marry and possibly have children. But, it is up to God. I'd love for her to be able to see her children marry. She is only 3 years older than me. I do admire her determination. And her strong spirit.
Anyway, I do remember many of the friends and some have been mine as well, but we had fallen out of touch because maybe we moved away or they moved away and I no longer went to deaf social events in the Detroit area. It didn't appeal too much to me, when I became a mom. I remember one deaf man who complimented the change in me, "You have 'mother eyes' now..." meaning the person I became was no longer who they knew. I changed to become a mother, and to be the best mother I could be. And start straightening my life out.
Fast forward to 20 years later (around 20 years later), a deaf couple visited our church today. The wife has cancer and was not doing well. She was feeling well enough to come to church. Even though she has to tote around her pain-killer machine and click for a dose nearly every half hour...to control the pain. Her husband was very caring and watching over her frequently.
In Sunday School, the lesson was so interesting for the husband, that a few times I'd let him know his wife's cup was ready to slip out of her hands (she had been nodding off frequently due to the meds) or about to fall out the side of her chair.
There was a fundraiser spaghetti dinner so we all hung for that after SS. While conversing with the wife, she asked me if I knew this person or that (a very long list, and maybe 3 out of 20, I do know)...finally I asked if they knew the kids' father and his family. The husband said yes! And told me he remembers visiting me at an apartment I lived in (the house in apartment upstairs, living over a guy who had rottweilers)...I looked at him and he said, think of me really skinny! I finally remembered him!!! Talk about small world.
We proceeded to talk a while, then I asked the husband how HE is doing, taking care of his wife, and how can we help him, how can I help him? He wanted to focus on his wife, and I told him I understood that very clearly. I understand her fears and not wanting to die, which is perfectly normal. How can we help them? So that is something to think about.
Later he and wife let me share little bit, sharing that I have experience with caring for people with cancer, so I know exactly what they're going through. So if they ever need to talk, or want me cook a meal or whatever, just let me know. I know where they live, and I'd be more than happy to come by or whatever.
I do pray for them, because I know it is hard for the husband to handle all that. Very stressful. Believe me, I know what he's feeling. I was so happy for the wife and she was so thrilled to have met me, finally knowing who I really am...and getting reacquainted. The best part was getting hugged, and being thanked for finally getting to meet me in person.
Ahh...today surely was a good day. The wife first had lung cancer, got treated for that, and it cleared. Then she developed a brain tumor, and treated with radiation, that was treated. Now, she has a tumor on her spine. If they operate, too risky, a high risk of becoming paralyzed. What did she want to do? She chose no surgery. She will continue to fight it off.
Now she leaves it in God's hands, however, the human part of her would like to live longer to see her children marry and possibly have children. But, it is up to God. I'd love for her to be able to see her children marry. She is only 3 years older than me. I do admire her determination. And her strong spirit.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Thursday the 18th
Well, I just got home from taking my son in for his eye appt. Turns out he does need glasses. After all, he has his daddy's eyes.
His daddy is blind as a bat without glasses. Josh has been diagnosed with being near-sighted (I learned just now, it means you can't see far), and would need glasses in school...so that's a relief.
At the same time, I ordered prescription sunglasses. I realized how much the sun hurts my eyes, but can't wear regular sun-glasses nor can I get clip-ons for these new glasses that I have now.
So...yeah.
Lately I've been feeling little...oh...sad, maybe? I don't know. I've been going through so many crazy emotions the past few days, to the point I just need to be left alone. Like, not wanting to deal with people or talk to people...other than my own immediate family members. I guess the past couple weeks just kind of threw me off, and my hormones off whack? Do I blame it on the time change? What?
So this week, I decided I was going to be in a great mood, no matter what the weather or how other people are behaving. I was going to make them laugh, if I have to tell bad jokes. If I have to go out of my way to amuse people and can still feel good about it, so be it.
Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. The library decided to have a potluck. We brought dishes in to share, anything green as possible (nothing moldy, please!) and dress up in green. Whoever has the most green gets to go first in line.
Well, I kind of figured someone else would be more greener than me. Well, I had green scrub pants on, I had bought a St. Patrick's Day tshirt that was on sale at Walmarts. I had green nail polish, green striped socks, green dangling earrings I got from Josh, green eye make up, and....oh wait for it......wait.....green hair spray!
So, having fun, I made my orzo salad (orzo, feta cheese, spinach, pine nuts and bit of garlic), dying the orzo with green food dye. I was little worried the green dye would hurt the feta cheese but no, I rinsed it well, and thankful the orzo stayed green.
Then I doled out in my finest greenery get-up and arrived at work. I thought there'd be a face-off or something with someone else, but I won, hands-down. If not for the green hair spray, I might be tied with another person. I was little extreme, I guess.
Oh I love our office parties!
Well, the weather's been lovely lately, and I just want Spring to be here FULL BLOOM, and for summer to roll in. I want to start sitting outside, and just enjoying the outdoors. And I want to get rid of the moody blues...
His daddy is blind as a bat without glasses. Josh has been diagnosed with being near-sighted (I learned just now, it means you can't see far), and would need glasses in school...so that's a relief.
At the same time, I ordered prescription sunglasses. I realized how much the sun hurts my eyes, but can't wear regular sun-glasses nor can I get clip-ons for these new glasses that I have now.
So...yeah.
Lately I've been feeling little...oh...sad, maybe? I don't know. I've been going through so many crazy emotions the past few days, to the point I just need to be left alone. Like, not wanting to deal with people or talk to people...other than my own immediate family members. I guess the past couple weeks just kind of threw me off, and my hormones off whack? Do I blame it on the time change? What?
So this week, I decided I was going to be in a great mood, no matter what the weather or how other people are behaving. I was going to make them laugh, if I have to tell bad jokes. If I have to go out of my way to amuse people and can still feel good about it, so be it.
Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. The library decided to have a potluck. We brought dishes in to share, anything green as possible (nothing moldy, please!) and dress up in green. Whoever has the most green gets to go first in line.
Well, I kind of figured someone else would be more greener than me. Well, I had green scrub pants on, I had bought a St. Patrick's Day tshirt that was on sale at Walmarts. I had green nail polish, green striped socks, green dangling earrings I got from Josh, green eye make up, and....oh wait for it......wait.....green hair spray!
So, having fun, I made my orzo salad (orzo, feta cheese, spinach, pine nuts and bit of garlic), dying the orzo with green food dye. I was little worried the green dye would hurt the feta cheese but no, I rinsed it well, and thankful the orzo stayed green.
Then I doled out in my finest greenery get-up and arrived at work. I thought there'd be a face-off or something with someone else, but I won, hands-down. If not for the green hair spray, I might be tied with another person. I was little extreme, I guess.
Oh I love our office parties!
Well, the weather's been lovely lately, and I just want Spring to be here FULL BLOOM, and for summer to roll in. I want to start sitting outside, and just enjoying the outdoors. And I want to get rid of the moody blues...
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